I cleaned for the past two days. Houston’s last projected winter chill of the season hit harder than expected. Temps remained well above zero. Snow did not fall. But the cold, wet rain dampened my indulgent plans. So, home I remained. Cleaning.
The scouring extends to spaces in my life further out of reach, but complete catharsis comes at a definite price.
I would love to say enlightenment has given way to the immaculate truth in knowing for certain my direction for the rest of 2009. No rash decisions. I twisted my mind around many possibilities. The outcome changes the more things differ from the same. It reminds me of The Butterfly Effect crossed with Back to the Future. One factor shifted a fraction to the left equals the alternate between victory and epic failure. Nothing in between. So what should I do? I weigh positives for potency and performance. How will this benefit me? Will this improve my situation? If it’s pretty slim in that department, it’s no longer a viable option.
In times past, confusion spontaneously guided me to somewhere…else. Somewhere that I am not. Somewhere away from it all. Like flipping the do-over button. For the first time, restarting scares me. But the urge to change scenery grows stronger daily. I cannot control it. One day, I will find myself on a boat, bus, train, plane….well maybe I will drive. I can’t leave my car.
Places I’m considering (and as with anything I’ve researched these cities on Forbes.com, Money.com, citydata.com,etc.):
San Antonio ; Austin, Texas; Charlotte, N.C.; Dallas; San Jose, Calif.; Raleigh, N.C.; Salt Lake City; and Seattle. Or simply remaining in Houston which is not such a bad place once I make more connections and dig deeper roots. I just haven’t fully invested myself into living here. I had no say in the decision to move here, so maybe it reminds me of a long gone moment powerlessness. Maybe I should let bygones be. Or maybe I should find out what else life has for me.
And Brangelina lost on every front. Now, I’m waiting for Houston to finally get the Wrestler so I can know what I’m so happy about.
It’s one thing that she has a machine gun for a leg. It’s a whole different entity that she shoots it with fingering the trigger. Exploitation film with coherent semblance of plausibility=unrealistic expectation
If you see this, quote Supernatural in your LJ! snagged from irishka1205.
“Wow, give you a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you’re Mister Sunshine.”
We took the boys to the zoo. So, if that sets the tone for the entire year…then we’re a happy family unit. But unlike our usual off peak visits, the rest of Houston did the same thing as it was a free day at the zoo.
I cooked the usual blackeyed peas for luck, cabbage for wealth, among other fruit, veggies, and grains.
The concept of starting out fresh brings to mind Alexander Pope’s Eloisa to Abelard, specifically the passage that goes…
How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;
I forgot to mention that I cut back my hours so that I can spend more time with the boys. Thankful that my job is so cool about it.
Ummm, I said something extremely rude today. A young lady walked in. Too young for those bags, lines, and discoloration. I more than suggested an eye cream. "Oh, I hope you find something that you can use." I’m so rude sometimes….usually not so out loud.
I missed church on Sunday. Happens to be the sermon in which my pastor, Dr. Ed Young, commissioned all married members of the congregation to have sex for seven straight days. Good stuff!
My mom gave me a Christmas bonus! Surprise money is always fun!
Okay, I love those Winchester boys…mainly Dean. But, Sam’s (Jared P.’s) style has never occurred to me as being noteworthy. Definitely, I am wrong. Sugar wouldn’t lie.
My husband got a job!! YAY! I’m quite thankful for that.
